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Lee was born 25th April 1985.

I brought Lee up alone as his father was abusive to me.

Lee idolised his father but he never saw him often. This had a lasting effect on his mental and emotional state, which nothing could repair.

Lee was very cute and funny with a real sensitive side. He was quite shy and was only comfortable with people he knew well.

Lee was 8 years old, when I got married and left the area to give Lee a better life. He found it hard to adjust at first new surroundings, new school, he missed the friends he left behind. But apart from this he was a normal happy boy.

Lee always struggled at school and he started displaying behavioural issues. He had learning difficulties and found the work hard. He wasnt interested in the subjects.

A statutory assessment of Lee was started and eventually completed a few years later! Only after we moved back to Birmingham after my marriage broke up.

 Lee started a new school that was far better equipped to help kids that had problems with learning. When they finished the assessment, Lee had a statement of education that was supposed to provide extra support for him at school.

It did not help and he began experiencing other problems. Lee was bullied at this school, which the school did not take seriously! and his life became a misery. He became depressed and never wanted to go. When I took him he just came home.

His truancy became a problem.

 Lee started to get into trouble outside of school. He got into fights, got involved in petty crime and appeared in court on a few occasions, receiving sentences of fines, conditional discharges and suspended sentences.

.None of Lee’s offending was really serious. I expected he would grow out of it and that it was due to the company he was now keeping.

Lee was good at home, so it was hard to understand why his behaviour was such a problem at school!

Lee was 13 yrs old, when I first found out he had been using cannabis. This explained why his behaviour became more rebellious and I was worried. I tried to get him help but nothing seemed to work...

I moved in with my new partner

who lived on a farm, taking Lee with me, and this country life seemed to suit him.

He helped on the farm at weekends taking care of the pigs and I kept horses which Lee loved riding.

At this time he appeared to be more settled.

He would invite his friends to stay who liked getting involved with the animals as well, my partner taught them all how to drive the tractor - this was Lee's favourite job!

Lee also had a girlfriend, Becky. She fell pregnant with his baby and he was very young. I was angry at first as he was not going to finish his education and now he was going to be a father!

Lee hid a lot of his feelings and never found it easy to talk about how he felt. He was a very sensitive young man and he was not coping very well emotionally.

Lee's son was born and he was delighted. The family accepted it and supported

them both. Lee seemed happier with his life and was settled at the farm. But his depression returned and he began self medicating with.. Heroin!

He began using at 16 years old and he

was dependant. At the time of his death

he was a poly drug user.

He had detoxed on a couple of occasions.

I went through this with him as the community support he was receiving at that time was less than encouraging.... Lee did not want to use drugs but it was the only thing that in his words “took away the pain"!

He tried to resume a normal life but when he became depressed he used again. Lee was also diagnosed with ADHD and found it hard to motivate himself! It seemed to him he was constantly fighting a loosing battle! Lee stopped caring about himself and appeared to just 'give up'!

I was always there to catch him everytime he fell, I tried to help him mend the pieces of his broken life...but whatever I did, it never seemed to help!

 In April 2002 My partner and I bought a house in Scotland and urged Lee to come too.

The same month he was sentenced to Brinsford Young Offenders Institution (YOI) on a 10-month detention and training order for assault. His behaviour was out of control as his drug usage had increased. He was mostly using crack now as it was easier and cheaper to obtain.

But I still think his sentence was really harsh.

He committed offences to finance his growing habit. He stopped caring about everything except his son, being a good dad took over the rest of his life. This was an area of his life he was determined not to fail at.

He was only 16 years old when he served 7 months in Brinsford YOI. He did not cope very well in prison he wasn’t strong enough mentally to be in a place like that. He was given subutex (a rapid detox program for two weeks). He was bullied repeatedly and beaten up.He was placed in the hospital wing after threats to take his life, and was monitored using FSH205(self harm form) for two months.

I was never informed about this.

I received a phone call at the time telling me he was in the hospital wing as

'he was having trouble settling in"!

(I found out about this only after seeing Lee's medical records following his death).

After his first release he was unrecognisable... He relapsed the day he got out and was agressive and irritable all the time.

He had an obsessive compulsive

disorder and began self harming.

He was just a child and never told anyone of his ordeal...I could no longer reach him....that’s when I lost my son!

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If you would be a real

seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.